make this tomorrow

i love this

it makes me very happy to have seen this at the philidelphia museum of at.

um

i felt like such a failure today. so unsure of any semblence of creative talent left in me. can i make a movie? with a cast? and a production? this is if i had a million dollars to make a movie (which may never happen in my lifetime) could I even do it? what a scary feeling that I am just wasting all this time? I cant shake this today, i think im lying to myself.
Why not write in a journal everyone says, because, journals are done baby. just like new york is done, beautiful film cameras are done, small shops are done, peace movements are done, sex and rock and roll are done, its the end of this.
we are here now in this digital thing, where private feelings are public. somehow im okay with that, because at least we are still trying to communicate with eachother.

yikes

this is really freaking me out. I want to write this in the hopes that no one will actually read it. I think there is a part of "blogging" that seems both self-deprecating and self-indulgent at the same time. Being a voyeur is always awesome, but being viewed feels a little strange. i want to write this so i don't forget the things that are making me tick. ok. blog writing. awkward!